If you answered yes to any of the above questions, chances are you are a Real Hot Bitch in waiting.
It all began one night in 2005, when Angela Meyer and Rosie Roberts used 80s music and made-up dance routines to get through a long night re-painting a theatre set.
“We thought, this is really fun, I wonder if anyone else wants to join us,” Angela says.
They sent out an email that invited people who thought of themselves as real, hot and bitching (“in a phat, non-gender-specific way”) to come and learn some of their made-up dance routines. Fifty people turned up to the inaugural event and the now-weekly bitching sessions, held at a local surf club, are still free and open to anyone.
The Real Hot Bitches have grown to become the largest dance troupe in Australasia. There are more than 300 bitches in the “dance-a-base” and sub-chapters in London, Berlin, Tokyo and Melbourne.
The Bitches now hold the world record for the most people performing a synchronized dance routine (done to Bon Jovi’s Shot Through the Heart). They have charmed theatre audiences with sold-out performances and just released their first DVD.
Though they never really intended to perform publicly, the bitches inherent show-pony personalities would not be confined to the surf club for long.
“We realised that the world had to see our Lycra-clad bodies – that it would be unfair not to unleash ourselves on the public,” Angela says.
The first public unleashing, at the end of 2005, was a simple friends and family night. “It was like an end-of-year recital,” Angela remembers. “Some of the bitches had their parents there. Nerves were high. Tensions were high. We had a shared afternoon tea afterwards.”
While the weekly “club bitching sessions” are still the beating heart of the Real Hot Bitches, an Über Troupe was formed to take the showiest of the show ponies to the streets. Literally. In 2006, the Über Troupe rolled out a series of dance terrorism attacks during the Wellington Fringe Festival – 20 neon Lycra-bombs armed with a boom box.
Since then, the Bitches have gone on to do three feature performances at the Wellington Bats Theatre, the most recent of which sold out six weeks in advance.
“We’re not big on plot,” Angela admits. “It’s more about the power of dance.”
But there is more to the Real Hot Bitches than Lycra and badly remembered 11-year-old dance moves.
“Often people don’t see past the Lycra but for me it came out of always wanting to dance. It can be kind of an intimidating thing – we don’t really use our bodies much in our society,” says Angela.
The Real Hot Bitches, she says, are challenging body image stereotypes, building confidence and creating a community.
“It’s really an incredibly feminist movement that no one really realises it is. We have so much fun - we laugh ourselves stupid. But it is very much about challenging those stereotypes and telling each other, ‘your ass looks great in that G’.”
Angela says there are many examples of bitches who have found confidence through the group. “One of the bitches was really shy and hadn’t had a job for about four years. She had gotten herself in a rut but now her life has totally changed.”
They come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. They range from six-year-old mini-bitches to 60-plus granny-bitches. Men can be bitches, too.
“There are two hard-core guys who are fantastic,” Angela says. “They shake it. It’s been very liberating for them and they get to hang out with heaps of hot chicks.”
The secret she says is attitude, not skill.
“I can never remember the routines. I have to always stand behind someone and go, oh, that’s right. It’s about attitude. If you think you’re hot, come along.”
Wellington has a reputation for embracing the off-beat, but the Bitches have charmed even the most bogan of audiences, which they proved by taking home the May Day Cup this year in the not-so-cosmo Palmerston North. They’ve had entire rest home groups up and joining in to the ‘Shot Through the Heart’ routine.
“I think it’s because we’re so passionate and because we’re not all models. A lot of people look at us and go, ‘I could do that’. There’s a real sense that people aren’t intimidated by us because a) we can’t really dance and b) we’re all shapes and sizes. We’ve created a really great community and that’s the thing I’m most proud of,” Angela says.
Sidebar:
RHB Wardrobe Motto: More is more is more
(RHB wardrobe hint: The tighter the lycra, the more it holds in.)
RHB Performance Motto: Only When I'm Dancing Can I Feel This Free
RHB Choreographer Motto: No dance-stone unturned
RHB Mantra:
'I am Real',
'I am Hot',
'I am Bitchin',
'I AM a Real Hot Bitch'
(c) Kris Herbert. Originally published in FRANKIE magazine.