Fighting Abuse

It started when she was just 10. Always on a weekend morning when her mother had gone to work. Hannah's father would take her into his room and force her to perform oral sex and intercourse. With a drawer full of sex toys, he carried out his kinky fantasies on his not-yet-pubescent daughter. He would brag to her about his infidelity with other women and how he forced Hannah's mother into threesomes.
For five years, Hannah and her younger sister were subject to weekly sessions of abuse by their father. "I can remember being relieved when he picked my sister instead of me. And that's a terrible thing to think but I just didn't want it to be me."
To keep the sisters quiet, Hannah's father threatened them. He drove a wedge between the sisters and warned them that their mother was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and if they told her of his actions, it would surely send her over the edge.
When she was 14, Hannah was raped by a family friend. The man asked their father to take the kids skiing. When they arrived at the ski area, he paid for the others to go skiing but held Hannah back. "I want to take you for a drive," he told her. Hannah guessed what this man's intentions were but was helpless to fight. He drove her part way down the hill and then forced himself on her in the car. He told there was no point fighting - he knew she wasn't a virgin. Hannah guessed her father had been bragging to his friend.
Finally, at the age of 15, Hannah threatened to go to the police if her father did not let her leave home. He acquiesced.
Once a promising student with ambitions to be a commercial artist, Hannah left school with no qualifications and headed out on her own.
But years of emotional isolation and an unhealthy understanding of love and sex left Hannah ill-equipped to face the real world.
Despite the fact that she was extremely scared of men and frightfully shy to speak to them, Hannah became very promiscuous - looking for love through sex. Then, at the age of 17, she fell pregnant and married the father of her child.
"My husband was controlling. He was just like my father. He was even kinky like my father and played around."
Eventually Hannah though she would "go around the twist" and so - with two young children - she left her husband at the age of 21.
After the split, Hannah returned to her promiscuous ways."I had a lot of relationships. I picked men that were weak in some way."
Gradually Hannah forced herself through her shyness - working her way into a career as a fashion designer and eventually running her own company.
In 1992, Hannah felt ready to face her past in order to move forward. She started counselling and received lump-sum compensation from ACC. Through counselling, she learned to deal better with issues about sex, relationships, self-esteem and parenting.
The parenting problems were the most unexpected. When her daughters reached the age of 10 - the age when Hannah's abuse had begun - she found herself recoiling from their affection."It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that I couldn't bring myself to give them affection. It took me years to deal with that one but it has improved."
Even after leaving home, Hannah's father had a heavy influence in her life. Finally, one day she decided it wasn't worth it. She didn't want to have to prove herself any more. So she stopped ringing her parents and no communication passed between them for several years.
Her parents moved to Australia. Then one day her father rang. "We haven't heard from you for a while," he said. "Your mother wants to know why and I don't know what to tell her." Hannah didn't know what to say.
He told her: "When I look in the mirror, I see an arsehole. I'm sorry for what I did to you but it happened to me as well." He also said that if Hannah's mother ever found out about his abuse, he would kill himself.
This phone call was devastating for Hannah. All the pain that she'd pushed out of her mind came flooding back, fuelled by a new sense of anger and hurt that - after all these years - her father still held her in the grasp of his threats.
The stress from this re-introduction of her father's presence triggered a decline in Hannah's psychological well-being."I thought I'd dealt with it but he forced his way back in."
Hannah's work suffered. She became depressed and even broke out into boils. To make things worse, her father rang again to say they were considering moving back to New Zealand. Hannah's business failed, her husband became ill and they were on the verge of bankruptcy. As she found herself sinking lower than ever, Hannah went back to ACC for further entitlements.
Hannah was warned by both her GP and ACC that her claim was likely to be rejected but she was willing to fight. She had worked hard to overcome the handicaps of being a sexual abuse survivor. This wasn't a greedy hunt for money. It was an honest appeal for financial assistance when she had nowhere else to turn.
ACC commissioned a psychologist to assess Hannah and after speaking with her for two hours, determined that only 55 per cent of her current depressive episode could be attributed to the abuse.
ACC refused her claim so Hannah sought the advice of a solicitor. Another psychological report was done and that one attributed 80 per cent of the problem to childhood abuse.
The information was re-submitted to ACC and at the review, the ACC representative announced that the corporation had decided to retract its decision to refuse Hannah's claim.
Hannah had the will and the strength to battle ACC but she believes that many like her would not have the confidence to take on the corporation.
Although her strength and determination are remarkable, her case is by no means unique. Christchurch lawyer Matthew Shepherd says people approaching ACC with sensitive claims are rarely given a full description of their entitlements. "It's a common situation. People suffer tragic abuse then go in for counselling and approach ACC. They're told they're not eligible and so they get representation.
"Any time you go to battle against a huge organisation like ACC, many people need help. The law in that area is complex. You're dealing with things which are not straightforward."
His company, and others like it, counsel clients on what they are entitled to and then makes sure that they receive these entitlements.
Auckland Lawyer Lorraine Smith also deals with sensitive claims to ACC. She says people who come to her are frightened. "ACC gives very little information out. They are a big, faceless organisation."
For its part, ACC says it does brief its clients on what entitlements they are eligible for. But if they are still not clear, an ACC spokesperson suggests people look for help from other organisations such as the Rape Crisis Centre, Community Law Centres or an organisation called Combined Beneficiaries in Auckland.
Today Hannah is working full-time again and continuing with counselling. She is determined to overcome what remains of the psychological detritus left over from her abuse so that she can achieve a normal, healthy life for the future. She plans to write a book about her experiences to help others gain the courage to heal.

A New Zealand study of 3000 women found that sexual abuse within the family occurred for 12 per cent of those sampled, or one in eight women. Survivors of incest are less likely to report their abuse to the police than people who are raped by a stranger. Incest often remains a secret. The abuse survivor expects to be blamed, feels embarrassed or doesn't want to upset anyone. They may be protecting the abuser or fearing the abuser.
Possible long term effects of incest include problems with sex (physical, emotional and mental), problems with close relationships, depression, self-destructive behaviours, difficulty parenting and eating difficulties.
Is Sexual Abuse on the increase?
It is very difficult to tell, says Sexual Abuse Help crisis co-ordinator Janice Giles.
"Our incident calls are way up since 1994. We get two and a half times more callouts now but that doesn't necessarily mean there are more incidents."
She says the increase in reporting could be due to people feeling more comfortable about coming forward.
According to NZ Police statistics, Sexual crimes account for .7 per cent of all crime.